


The Way I Loved You

by Trixie_Baggins



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: AU, Abandonment Issues, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, F/M, Feelz, Taylor Swift - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-12 10:54:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5663605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trixie_Baggins/pseuds/Trixie_Baggins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>He is sensible</i>
  <br/>
  <i>And so incredible</i>
  <br/>
  <i>And all my single friends are jealous</i>
</p><p> </p><p>  <i>...But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain, now it's two am and I'm cursing your name</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	The Way I Loved You

>  
> 
> She was twenty now, and in her sophomore year at a public university. Despite having abandonment issues, despite bouncing around from foster home to foster home without any continuity, despite being unable to make friends, she’d done quite well for herself. Her boyfriend, Finn, was so sweet and kind and protective. He was older than her, twenty-six. The only reason he was in college was because the army was paying for it. He really would have liked to spent the rest of his life in the army, but he was diagnosed with PTSD and sent back stateside. They had found each other, and that was that.
> 
>  
> 
> Finn was everything you’d want in a boyfriend, and yet she still felt unsatisfied. His roommate, Poe, had tried to talk to her about it, but she did what she always did- she shut down. Finn didn’t really sense anything wrong, he was too head over heels in love with Rey. She knew she was breaking his heart, and she felt bad about it, and that one day this façade she had built for herself would come crashing down. That one day the truth, the truth that she loved someone else, would come out. Rey dreaded that day, because that’s the day she would look into Finn’s heartbroken eyes and feel nothing.
> 
>  
> 
> Rey truly loved her ex-boyfriend. Her friends said that he was bad for her, and his friends said she was bad for him, but in reality, they were good for each other. She broke through his barriers, and weakened him. He helped her put up barriers and strengthened him. He needed the weakening, and she needed the strengthening.
> 
>  
> 
> It almost seemed like their relationship was doomed from the start. Their personalities were polar opposites of each other, and incompatible. But the two of them made it work, because they loved each other. Their neighbors complained about the arguments they had, the screaming matches they had, and Rey, too scared to leave completely would curl up just outside the dorm building and cry.
> 
>  
> 
> But the neighbors were also there to witness the beautiful parts of their relationship. Kylo, his face filled with remorse and his eyes with love would open the door and sneak outside to where Rey was. He would get down on his knees and apologize and beg her to forgive him. And she would because, she loved him. The neighbors remember when Kylo took off in the middle of the night, and Rey was terrified that he had left forever. They remember when he came back early that morning, soaking wet from the rain still coming down, and she rushed out to greet and the two of them kissed and made up.
> 
>  
> 
> The neighbors also remember when Finn found out that Rey didn’t truly love him. They remember him, tears in his eyes, asking her if she ever cared about him. And her, tears in her eyes, begging him not to leave her. They remember when he left anyways, and Rey lost it completely. It was early in the morning, around two AM, and she was screaming. It was anger. It was pain. It was fear. Angry at herself for ruining something that good. Angry at Kylo for ruining her. Pain that yet another person had left her. Pain that the one person she loved had left. Fear that no one could love her. Fear that she would be alone for the rest of her life.
> 
>  
> 
> She cursed herself. She cursed Finn. But more than all of that, she cursed Kylo, Kylo and his stupid attractive face and his stupid mysterious name.
> 
>  


End file.
